


The Man in the Yellow Hat

by hermioneclone



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack Fic, Crack Relationships, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 18:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2397962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermioneclone/pseuds/hermioneclone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack!fic based on <a href="http://missbeizy.tumblr.com/post/99068863540/klaineandbiscuits-romanceallovertheplace-you">this</a> post. This is based on me knowing like 2 spoilers and I don't really want to know anymore, but the idea was too good to pass up. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man in the Yellow Hat

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to remain unspoiled, do not read this. However, I know nothing and this is mostly speculative nonsense.

Kurt sat down at the table with his older, mysterious date (who pulled out his chair for him! Not that it reminded him of Blaine. At all.) bubbling with excitement. He tried not to think too much about the past. This was his future. _What kinda future can you have with a guy practically my age, kid?_ His father’s voice asked in his head, but Kurt chose to ignore it.

“So, Brian was it?” Kurt asked as he artfully spread the cloth napkin over his lap and picked up the menu. He was glad his date was buying; there weren’t any prices on it.

“Bryan Durphy,” the man across from him reintroduced himself. Kurt had found out about this guy from and friend of a friend. He was already taken off guard by the man’s lack of hair, but he could live with it. He wasn’t that shallow.

_“Ugh, I’m too young to be balding Kurt!” Blaine whined, craning his neck to look at the back of his head in the mirror._

_“Don’t worry, I’d love you no hair at all,” Kurt assured him._

“Right, right,” Kurt replied awkwardly, trying not to be unnerved at the way the man was looking at him without blinking. “So, Marsha said you were recently divorced?” Not the best conversation starter but too late to take it back now.

“Yeah, well, what can you do. Some people just don’t get that you can’t rein Bryan Durphy in.”

They stumbled into awkward small talk, Kurt mostly talking about his time in New York. His dad popped up once or twice, but it felt…it felt like disclosing too much personal information this soon was just wrong. He powered through his mounting discomfort; there was no spark of connection between them, not even a glimmer of friendship and he could not wait to be back home curled up in his bed drinking enough wine to forget about tonight and watching Netflix.

“You know, I see a lot of myself in you,” Bryan drawled, reaching out to take Kurt’s hand. Kurt froze, smiling hard and trying to retain his composure. This guy had a lot of clout in the industry; it wouldn’t do to irritate him needlessly.

“Do you?” he asked noncommittally, counting down the seconds to when it would be appropriate to remove his hand from Bryan’s sweaty grasp. After another half hour of uncomfortable conversation (at least on Kurt’s end; Bryan seemed to be enjoying himself), the bill was finally paid and Bryan offered to walk him home.

“I’m fine, thank you though. I have to go in the opposite direction,” he lied.

“That’s too bad,” Bryan sighed. “I was hoping to see more of you.”

“Sorry, but I think I might be going back to Ohio for a while to help out my dad. So I won’t be around.” Another white lie.

“Suit yourself,” Bryan replied with a shrug, removing a hideous yellow cap from his bag and placing it on his head. Okay, he could be shallow, that cap was horrible and should be burned. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Thank god,” Kurt muttered under his breath as they parted ways. Maybe a trip to Ohio was a good idea. He refused to become the man in the yellow hat.


End file.
